I have a great deal of respect for Kylie Minogue. I wouldn't say I'm a "fan", exactly, but I recognise that she works very hard and is deeply dedicated to her career. She's also a breast cancer survivor and has come forward to speak about it, which I find courageous and I think it's using her fame in positive ways. I'm afraid I can't say the same for Darling, her perfume.

Oh, it's not horrible. I didn't want to wash my skin or anything. But it was so... ordinary. Pink, fruity, floral, been there, done that, a hundred times. Honestly, the perfume is a yawn. It has apparently become a top seller in the UK, which is fine for Kylie (as I said, I actually have nothing at all against her), but how much must this perfume contribute to the stereotype that the English are boring and predictable?

The top notes are the extremely common and entirely dull combination of freesia, lychee, and (passionless) passion fruit, followed by some other floral notes that apparently include boronia and lily. The only part of the perfume I particularly liked was the base, which is a nicely balanced sandalwood and amber, with a touch of vanilla.

I found the fragrance to be reasonably long lasting, and fairly well constructed, as these things go. What a shame that the fragrance is so very, very dull and so very, very boring. Surely, Kylie isn't dull and boring (at least, I shouldn't think so), so why would she settle for this oh-so-ordinary pink, fruity, floral when she could have had something that would really sparkle?

Maybe I'm just a perfume snob, I don't know. I mean, I've smelled hundreds of perfumes, and I've got a pretty strong sense of what I like and don't like, so maybe that's why I was so completely unimpressed by this fragrance. And my apologies to anyone from the UK (I do know that being boring and predictable is only a stereotype!) and to anyone who loves this perfume. I'm sure it's nice on many, many, many people. Just like beige skirts and brown shoes.